Ugh. I'm in a crappy mood....kind of depressed, kind of anxious, totally unmotivated, a little apathetic. *sigh* Frank and I had a good conversation the other day about our relationship and our future and stuff like that. I think we actually managed to communicate well, but now I sort of feel like I'm stewing in it, replaying it over and over and not really liking it.
Aside from that, I really, really hate being at work w/ miserable people. I was in a pretty good mood this morning, working w/ people I like, great Sun. morning customers, getting some stuff done, etc. Then walks in Matt, in a baaad mood. I asked him if he was alright, he told me what was wrong, it kinda sucks, but no reason to look like you're either going homicidal or suicidal any second now. Ugh. It's amazing how how persons misery can ruin an day for everyone. The other two partners and I were in good moods and within an hour of Matt being there we'd all gone downhill. I hate that! I shouldn't let other people dictate my mood, yet sometimes it seems inevitable.
So, here I am at home now, with a list 3 miles long of things I need to get done and I really just wanna take a break from life for a few hours. It seems like whenever I've got the energy and motivation to do stuff like clean the house, Frank's here and asleep, so I don't do anything 'cause I don't want to wake him up. When he's awake, I wanna do something w/ him - not clean and when I'm here alone I'm either exhausted or just wanna veg.
Sometimes day to day, boring ass life is just incredibly overwhelming to me. Maybe I should take more Xanax. :-)
Since I got off work early today I think I'll treat myself w/ a couple hours worth of reading, then I'll get some stuff around here accomplished. Hopefully.
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